Financial infidelity—lying about financial matters to your spouse. It is not as rare as we would all like to hope. According to recent reports, 20% of respondents admitted they had made purchases of $500 or more without their spouse knowing. Six percent confessed to having secret accounts.
God designed marriage as an all-in deal. Husband and wife are to pursue oneness in all areas of their marriage.
Including their finances.
Financial infidelity creates division where unification is to be the standard. It is dangerous to a couple’s financial health, but way more importantly, financial infidelity is destructive to the marriage.
No one wants to think that their spouse is guilty of financial infidelity. But if you find yourself with a nagging sense that something is wrong in this area of your marriage, here are a few signs that financial infidelity may be present:
- You notice big cash withdrawals for reasons unbeknownst to you. You see that large amounts of cash have been taken out of your bank account and you have no clue why.
- You stop receiving financial statements in the mail. You used to get financial statements in the mail every month. Now, you no longer receive them. The mail is either being hidden or a request to stop the delivery has been made.
- A lot of new items show up in your home. It seems that a new item finds its way into your house every week. You didn’t discuss the purchases. You weren’t told of the purchases. But there they are.
- You spot an unfamiliar credit card or financial statement. Laying out on the counter is a credit card that you’ve never seen before. A bank or credit card statement arrives in the mail, and you know you don’t have an account with them.
- You have been taken off certain financial accounts. Your name and ability to access certain accounts is suddenly gone.
- Your spouse gets really angry when you bring money into the conversation. He or she gets abnormally defensive about anything related to money.
Do any of these signs guarantee financial infidelity? Of course not. In fact, your spouse may have a solid explanation for all of them. I really hope this is the case.
Regardless, a conversation needs to take place if you notice any of these signs. You and your spouse need to get on the same financial page. You and your spouse must pursue oneness in all areas of your marriage, including finances.
Don’t let Satan leverage money to divide your marriage. Instead, leverage for oneness. Let money become the great harmonizer, not the great divider.
Written by Art Rainer, member of the Summit Stewardship and Generosity Ministry Leadership Team.
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The Summit Church offers Financial Peace University courses. See our Events page for upcoming classes.